A  True  Southern  Woman

Compared to times past, a southern woman was a Celtic woman. She would work the fields, give way to child birth, rest a day, and start all over with her busy life of planting, canning, tending to all the needs of the home, garden, and yard stock. She was also just the trainer of great men with a special romantic quality befitting her life.

           


It was once thought she was a delicate little flower like those who sat on her veranda day after day, while being waited on hand and foot.  She would swoon at the first drop of a hat! (That was probably because her corset was way too tight!)

Late last night, as I was looking at photos of the ladies that I knew; it all of the sudden occurred to me that I am a southern woman, crazy through and through.

~~But ~~

What about the other southern women that I knew? I took the time to really look at some of them? Wow! I was amazed. I have spoken with so many I admired and never realized it until this moment; they are really surprising women – each to their own accord with talent, sophistication, beauty and forcefulness that would equal more than an army worth of intelligence; they are the creators of our future generations; they are the rulers of men; they are the saving grace of what is to become. Women like these set an example of how our world will be saved because they are fast becoming the majority.

A true southern woman equals if not becomes better than a man at any undertaking such as the 

“wild world of sports.”

Each of these ladies is successfully professional as a highly motivated student, a jewelry designer/culinary gourmet, a chef, and a specialized operating room registered nurse. 

                A true southern woman whether at play or at work can be beautiful and elegant; they can command aristocracy with a firm or soft hand of their choosing in any situation with a confident smile.

Oh, but beware of those smiling eyes because they know their business very well. 

We have two relentless negotiating business women, a leading trend setter in education, and an international public relations specialist.

A true southern woman will fool you in passing. They may seem like 

a  ball mom, rocker fan, jet setter, novice musician, 

or 

 mysterious bridal model;

actually I will leave you guessing what they do in their community. 

Their degrees of intellectualism will surprise you – characteristic of a southern woman. 

 For all these women have triumphed and surpassed the men of their time. Women may have raised and contributed strong men to our society but these are the women who were sent to mold our future; these are the leaders that we should recognize. They hold the truths in their hands and they will quietly, exquisitely refined, and beautifully set examples for even stronger women that will govern, lead, outlast, and that will save our tomorrow. These are the southern women of the now!

This is the true southern woman I most admire…my mother.

This is my most admired future…my daughter an aspiring literary artist. 

“May our voices sing sweetly across the world!”

ICQ is more like I C U?

Last night about 11:30pm (CST), I noticed like every other night, my niece got on the internet and went to a chat room to speak with people from all over the world about religion and politics. I decided to join in out of curiosity. So I signed into to this chat room call ICQ. After two minutes, I was blasted with all these different private IMs which I found out they were from men all over the world.

I am not stupid by compare but I just detest men and women that think this sexual exploit is exciting! Not only is it not exciting it is boring by far! [Or so I thought.] I wanted intellectual conversation – politics, religion, worldly culture. The first opening statement I received was “asl?” [Age, sex, location] Well of course being a “smart ass”, I explained that American Sign Language is a bit hard to see on the internet without a cam. Big mistake saying cam in private chat room. Everyone wanted to show me their “Polly that needed a cracker.” I was not offended. But a few of these men I spoke with I had to ask if they talked to their mother, daughter, wife or sister in that manner? How would they like it if someone did? I received several apologies. I also spoke with a 15 year old boy. I asked him if his mother knew he was in an adult chat room and that he should be careful as not to get hold of a predator of some sorts.

I even had a person state that “the USA sucks ass!” I agreed that it does suck canal water out of the best asses—look at corporate America. Las Vegas has a great system for water conservation using waste water I had ever seen. I was censored by the ICQ police who felt the word “FXCX” or “TXTs” is appropriate but not what I said. (?) I think it is wonderful when we are censored in the US. It is okay for the vulgar use of slang words but not okay to be a smart ass!

Sometimes they try that censorship on FaceBook, and of course I pull the Constitution bit – yes I am one of those liberal’s that believe in the ACLU—you know the bunch that defends the constitution to its height for all citizens.

I had one young man tell me he was a 23 year old male turkey and ask me if that bothered me? Why should it? I was curious though as to why he called himself a turkey? That is rather an old slang word from the past. It ended up I was the turkey because he was from the Country Turkey. I spoke with men from Illinois, Nigeria, Moscow, Turkey, someone from the Ivory Coast of West Africa-Ghana, and a man from Washington, DC. The man from DC was lonely and a marketing specialist.  Oh please open that door – lobbyist or congressman. I was so hoping to get hold of one or the other. If it was someone I could have identified – what a public copy of the post it would have been to the press this morning!

All I have to say about all of this is people have definitely become disassociated with reality.

Come Join Me in the Lemons

By Julia Burns

December 25, 2011

(Girl Holding Lemon, Bouguereau, 1899)

I am waiting not for you to join me.

         For I have ask more than mine eyes have cried

This very morn the hills have called my name

        And I picked the plumpest fruit, round and deep

For I wait not for you to join me

I thought to slice each one

Prepare the juice of the sun and the drops that weep from above

 While sweet tendrils drip from my breast to drive us

From this pane, for I dare not want you to join me

 As I lower into the cool chamber after slipping down my gown

My lemons afloat are waiting for you

For you have joined me into taking this cool air, rippling water and all

And tasting what all is offered but

I dare not ask for you to join me

You come of your own volition

Come join me in the lemons?

Fashion! ~or~ is it just plain ugly?

I was looking at the Camellia Ball from December 2011 in Mobile, Alabama.  I was so excited to see my first cousin and his little girl (she was a server/hostess) to the debutantes. He was so handsome (but not as handsome as my own son) (mother showing partiality.)

The gowns were absolutely beautiful but interesting on some of the ladies. I was never a hound to fashion until I reached 20 years old. Then when I reached 40 – it was comfort.  My butt became a little more spread out and in a million years I would never have thought I would be writing to criticize women and their fashions for any reason – no, never, not me!

Ladies, now has come the time, I am 52 years old today! I am going to “blast” you. Mardi Gras season is approaching fast.  Get a book on fashion – please and remember a few things (a) it may look good on the model in the magazine, but (b) it may very well look horrid on you personally. I will also blast some of the young men in their finest tuxes (rental or personally owned-matters not.)

Debutante or not, or parent(s), have you all lost your minds? I have to ask this of the photographer too taking some of the pictures. This is supposed to be a Southern young ladies finest hour!

What I saw was not right. I am criticizing (deeply with my heavy southern accent).

(1)               If you have a stomach pooch, do not wear a dress that is designed for a flat stomached woman.

(2)              When a woman descends stairs they are to walk turned to the side not straight down.

(3)              When walking forward, glide, smaller steps. Do not walk like you are taking great big steps to attack.

(4)              Plus size ladies, there is nothing wrong with being plus size. But, buy your gowns or undergarments that do not reveal the third and fourth back breast of our bodies. I am a plus size and this problem is easily attended to with a little imagination.

(5)              Sleeveless is ok on some women but not every woman. Work with the flaws that you have. If you have sumo wrestler arms, with a wobble, or an extra layer in the back of the arm, small sleeves can minimize this or a simple cover sleeve (shoulder sleeve.)

(6)              Gentlemen, please make sure your pants are hemmed with a simple break at the shoes. If you wear a 30 in length, do not show up in a 32 length. The baggy “khaki” pants look un-kept and like you just hopped out of bed without a thought in your head and went to a formal dance. Besides, the Camellia Ball was a formal and mothers what are you doing letting you son show up in a blue blazer, khakis, a pair of deck shoes, and a red tie.  Formal means tux; business means blue blazer. Someone take that young boy and shoot him for being a clone!

(7)               If you are going to play the part of the “southern wife” make sure your husband is perfectly dressed and that includes the smile on his face and combed hair. Gentlemen could you at least seem happy to be presenting your most prized offspring at that moment. Talk about tacky and sour!  If your daughter misbehaves maybe it is your unpleasant appearance – fathers!

(8)             If you are in a strapless gown, do not bend over to have any picture made. I am big busted (always have been) but there is nothing more unsightly as seeing sagging, hanging breast on any age woman especially from the front at a formal event. I saw one young lady in a strapless with breast ready to fall out with the wrong move and her cleavage was showing a bit too much? Was she wearing any panties or a strapless slip or strapless bra? Didn’t look like it to me!

(9)              To the woman in the fur coat, loose it. Do not point out and ask questions of the little girls and just don’t point. It is rude to point period! Fur coats are out of season-- out of style!

(10)                      Ladies that have died hair, make sure it isn’t too dead. Make sure the color is compatible with your skin otherwise the picture will capture a washed out woman looking older than she really is.  (My friend who is a hair designer specialists in Mobile would have laughed at your coloring because in several pictures, it was damn dead looking --hair and face.)

(11)                       When choosing a dress, kindly remember, this a ball and not a beauty pageant. Debutantes please wear all white and not different shades of pink. Pink is not a flattering color on every one.

(12)                      Other ladies when attending a formal, a short skirt is not in for every formal. The majority of the ladies were in gowns, short to calf length (tea length) is generally considered cocktail.  Short sequined ensemble is “Hollywood youth” form the Lindsay Lohan collection and not southern gentility.

(13)                      Kill the large flower bouquet until you are finished being escorted by your father’s down the stairs. Look up! Be proud to be there. The chin should be level, with confidence in your eyes looking forward. It never hurts to practice.  Do not look like you are being sacrificed.

(14)                      There is not much I can say about Mardi Gras other than ladies be inventive with your gowns. Do stop wearing that tiring old “crap!” Year after year I see some of the same styles. BORING! Same thing with men! BORING! Ladies remember (if you are older) (or your body type has changed) be unique.

(15)                        Highlight your best features.

Here are some ideas:

Busty women with large plump breast can flaunt them. No problem but not strapless. It is still cool at night during the season. Think heart shaped bust with lighter color sheer chiffon that goes up to the neck attaching to a satin nap at the neck with sleeves that fits to the actual arms, back and neck area. A simple sequin or pearl button in the back followed by a gentle opening with a zipper will make the gown priceless and unique. If not look at the older fashions from the 40s, 50s, and 60s; have your dressed made with silks or satins. A woman floating across the dance floor in layers of satin, silk or chiffon around her waist to the floor is beautiful. It would make her the angel of the ball. Ribbon taffeta, glitter tulle, a lame, or netting would make a great outer layer to any gown but be careful because they are very delicate fabrics. Check out the different fabrics before choosing your gown. Organza, charmeuse, faille, habutae, crinoline, certain mesh, polka dots (yes polka dots), and dare to say “COTTON” or “LINEN” are acceptable. Jackie O wore a linen gown with a back opened empire jacket once. How elegant was that? VERY!

If a woman has a back that is her best feature, flaunt that back but do not flaunt the front at the same time. If her arms and legs are great but not her chest, flaunt those beautiful arms or legs.  A slit in a woman’s gown is definitely a head turning event (especially up the back of the dress.) Her husband will definitely look twice and if he doesn’t just shoot him!  Go sensual not overly trashy sexy. Aloof sensual, delicate, charming, simple, elegant – do not go bold, busty, letting the roles of age be seen in your gowns this coming season.

MEN

It is time you out right purchased tuxedos.  Try looking at the designer specials like Hart Schaffner Max Gold Trumpeter-Capital Collection.  It has a high necked collar which is very “James Bond” cool, sleek, and sexy! Notice the leg break; it should be a slight indentation just at the top of the shoe. You do not have to wear a cumber bun with this outfit unless you just want to. Of course no man can go wrong with Armani unless you buy an Armani knock off. These are generally a great buy if you shop Nordstrom’s.  Get out of the tails and please leave the tail tux (cutaway tails) to the ultra formal wedding or the formal wait staff. If you want to be sleek and sexy—TRY SOMETHING DARING AND NEW! Joseph and Feiss has a black over grey double breasted that would make any man look like a body builder macho dude coming to get his damsel. Calvin Kline is more “Bond, James Bond” with a black single button over all white. (My son looked absolutely dreamy to the young women dressed in this tux.) Kline also has a grey satin edged peaked lapel. What has happened to the Dinner Jacket? Do men not have enough “gonads” to wear Dinner Jackets anymore? Most of these can be purchased at Men’s Warehouse or any other chain for that matter fairly reasonable.

Ok what I am getting at is BE DIFFERENT this year. Be risky be daring! Find a seamstress. Or here is an idea. Buy the dress 2^nd hand and have it reworked with new fabrics. But do something and don’t be the same tiring group that gets together for a formal event.   

December 16th 2011

Take the Time!

Every day I try to understand why negative things happen with our youth. Why have they become disassociated with society; why have gangs been allowed to form and stay strong? I sit and try to find the answer by reading or even “Google’n” on the net to see if I can comprehend what is happening outside my front door.

I got off the subject for a moment and ran across a music video of the Black Eyed Peas Where is the love? I must be getting old, because I couldn’t understand one single word those young men were “rapping.” Its music and words went so fast that I felt like I was on a roller coaster. Now mind you, I get this occasional feeling to watch some music videos and sing along with the artist. After I look up the lyrics and my very own private jam session begins. Life is explosive for me at that moment because I am on stage as the artist. I feel the lights, the electrifying crowd, and cheers in front of me.  Most of what I listen to is Waylon Jennings, ZZ Top, Charlie Daniels Band, Willie Nelson, Beach Boys – the later 60s, all of the 70s and 80s genre of music. But tonight, I really listened to the Black Eyed Peas.

I fell in love with some of their music after reading many of the poetic words. I wanted to sit down and cry in anger. What have we as a society done to our children? We have allowed too much trauma (it matters not how we define trauma) into the world of our youth. Children having sex (at such a young age) without parents being more nurturing is a trauma. According to the song, “Do we practice what we preach?” It seems that we pray in church for our selfish reasons but do we actual pray for someone else in general – our children and help with their guidance? Is the love and human respect actually gone? Do we really have no time to give for the help of one another in the next backyard over? I had to sit and think very hard about all of this.

The children actually see no heroes any more. They see their parents being self absorbed with worry; guilt about not being able to provide because the economy is still so very soft. They hear excuses of why they can’t have a new pair of shoes or someone else may pick on them because their house is not as nice as it once was. They feel ashamed because they are without a stable home. Instead they hear stories of “John Q Public” having his children taken away because the shelters are full; the only place left to live is in their car with little “Johnnie and Susie.” “John Q Public” lost his job and the benefits have run out. [And] for the past 30 years we as a society have swept under the rug our future problems; drank our wine and entertained as if tomorrow wouldn’t exist—because the good life would never end.

Now it is the generation of my children and grandchildren. I am the generation of what our parents were 40 years ago. I see things a little differently and although I continue to be optimistic, I am not so sure. I am scare that when the education of the 18 year old ends in the 12^th year of school or when the college is over with and the degree has been completed what will be left? Let’s look at the facts.

Our economy is in shambles. Our ecology is no better. Our overall society spirituality is really unstable. People are too self-centered on their “individual [I] rights.” Are there no longer any community commitments to help and support one another? The only thing can change all of this now is our adult children, we the parents and we grandparents who are still with us. Get involved and stand strong! The future is hear and it is really scary!     

WWJD

Years back, one of the more popular phrases was “What Would Jesus Do” or WWJD.  It was used quiet often in society by all works of life, especially Christians. Today is not different, even though I am older, I still ask when making a decision of any type (about 75% of the time) “What would he do if in my shoes?” or “What would he do if in their shoes?”

Now, Christians are supposed to be the most supportive non-judgmental people on the face of the earth. HAHAHAHA! Right! We are hypocrites by far, unforgiving, deadly, judgmental jurors on the face of the Earth. Why do you think that is?  Do we all live in glass houses? Must be that we all have an ego that seems somewhat “because we are Christian – we a holier than thou.”

Recently I read an internet article written today (December 1^st, 2011) by Eric Pfeiffer Kentucky church bans interracial marriage. Stella Harville and (fiancée) Ticha Chikuni could no longer participate in church actively because they are interracial (he’s black, she’s white.) This is taking place in 2011 at the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church, located in Pike County Kentucky according to the article.

Seems they performed a Christian song for the congregation; it must have really up-set the 40 or so delicate sensibilities of the members of the church. Stella was baptized at this church. The former pastor (who recently stepped down was the instigator of all this.) The new minister (Stacey Stepp) advised them to sing whenever you want.  Sounds like this church as some serious issues.

Now I am not going to judge – just want a point a few things out or ask a few questions. Who the heck fire died and allowed these Christians to sit in judgment on any man?  Brother Thompson (former pastor) what color do you think Jesus was? If you say white, someone go to Kentucky and “bitch slip” this man silly just for being unlearned and ignorant backwoods American!  (Common sense about the location where Jesus was born would automatically lean toward a man of “color.”)

Brother Melvin Thompson, since I am not going to judge you, let me just say this part; all though, I would like to accuse you of religious and racial persecution but God will judge you and I will not. I will pity on you and pray very heavily for you soul.

Is there something in the Bible that states interracial marriage is wrong? Let me guess – you shouldn’t marry outside your tribe. Well the best I can remember (from my studies) if you wanted to marry outside your tribe, in the Biblical times, Daddy accepted if the man was worthy of his daughters hand, but he had to pay a few more sheep/livestock to the other tribe for the male to leave his tribe or exchange him for something of equal value. (That was generally done when a tribe had a shortage of men.)

“This recommendation is not intended to judge the salvation of anyone, but is intended to promote greater unity among the church body and the community we serve.” (According to the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church) What is in your church body and community serve?  Do they all own retired white sheets?  Do you think that God would approve of the prevention of two of his children in sharing their praises to him or Jesus to a community of fellow Christians or a community?

The next time, maybe you all better really consider “What would Jesus Do?” (WWJD)

Pfeiffer, Eric. Kentucky church bans interracial marriage. Yahoo! News: 1^st December 2011. Web. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/kentucky-church-bans-interracial-marriage-150009470.html